Kripalu Yoga Teacher Training ~ Week 4/E.S.R.I.T.

To say that the last week of school was hectic would be an understatement.  As I think back on that week I can't believe the range of emotions that my classmates and I went through.  The last Sunday-Friday was packed with so much that it nearly broke folks.  Well, I say that loosely, but it was intense.

We started the week last Sunday with posture clinic where we learned some of the last postures in our manual and gathering information about the final written exam, which was the next day.   All along we were given practice tests that corresponded with what we were learning each week and we were assured that we had all the info we needed to pass the test and pass it well.  I have to admit that I wasn't too worried about it, but some folks had lots of anxiety.  So it was challenging to be in that vibe.  To say that Sunday was tense around the place is an understatement.

After a full days work, we were given the last section of the day to study.  I didn't push too hard because I knew I would pass. I know that might sound like my ego talking, but I really believed that they had set us up to win. Also, I leaned on my nyama Ishvar-Pranidhana (Surrender) as I went into the test. That doesn't mean I didn't study, it just meant that I did all I could and I was leaving the rest to the Creator.

On Monday after morning Sadhana and breakfast, we took our written exam.  I felt really good about it. I knew that I probably got a few wrong, but I was not going to beat myself up about it.  After all the tests were turned in, there was no time to think about how we did as we were right back in posture clinic getting ready for our third practice teach, which was the next day.  No rest for the weary.  On the upside, when we came back from lunch we found out that we all passed the test!  Yeah!  On to the next challenge.

Practice Teach 3
As I told you before, I'm a crammer.  By Monday night I had written a few things and had a few ideas for my class sequence. On Sunday I found out that I was going last for my teach on Tuesday.  With this in mind I thought I would make the class gentle since it would be the last of the day for my group. At practice teach prep the staff gave us the information for what to expect the next day and then  let us go early to work on our teach.  Some folks stayed in the room together, but  I went to the sauna. I needed some head space to that I could put my plan together.  I sat in the sauna for a while and was able to put most of my plan together in my head. After the sauna, I headed to the sanctuary where I always studied and pulled my plan together.  I wrote it out, walked it through for myself, said a prayer and headed to bed.

Tuesday was big on so many levels. It was election day and practice teach 3.  I couldn't even think about the election until the day we done.  I was in a great auditam group for the third time around.  Peter, Laura, Ray and I really connected.  I was really excited to work with them and to be a support for them.

The day was long.  After supporting my group it was finally my turn to teach.  By that time I wasn't nervous; I was really just ready to go.  I centered myself, a passage was read to the whole class and then it was time to teach my first 1 hour class.  So how did I do?  I knocked it out of the park!  There were certain pranayams and postures that we were required to do and I got everything in.  There is so much to think about when teaching, but I just took a breath and let spirit take over. It was like nothing else. Well actually it was like singing.   I made it though with ease and I am so thankful. When I finished I thought I would have a feeling of relief that I was over, but I really just felt high like I was floating.  I am so looking forward to teaching again.  Susan, the staff member who worked with me during my last teach, gave me some great feedback and we even set goals for my next class, which will be back in New York.  I love that it feels like the mentoring continues. It was such a great day. Amazing!

Celebration!
Tuesday night was a reason to celebrate on so many fronts.  We passed our written exam, we all really rocked our last practice teaches and many of us we were hoping to re-elect a president.  So for the first time since I arrived there, I went out to a bar.  I didn't drink because I hadn't touched anything for nearly a month and election or no election we still had to be at sadhana at 6:30am.  We went to a cool spot in Lenox to watch the returns, but the funny thing is that folks started to head back to Kripalu about 9 or 9:30pm because that was our bed time.  At that time Romney was up a bit in the electoral vote and some folks were really worried. I, on the other hand, was not.

I have to tell you that I was never really worried. Maybe I should have been, but I really wasn't. I knew the president would be re-elected.  There was just something in my spirit that said yes.  At the time we left the bar, the west coast hadn't even come in. I knew that the whole left was going to light up blue. Yes there was the question of Ohio, but for some reason I didn't think that would be an issue either.

When we got back to Kripalu, I stayed up. I got on my computer and just checked the internet and jumped on facebook to keep up with what was going on. The only other folks that stayed up with me were Monica and DeAnna. Oh Ben and Brooke were up too, but they were in the dining room and we were in the cafe.  Monica, DeAnna and I were sitting and chatting when at about 11:45pm a woman came dancing down the hallway saying that Obama won!  What??!! So we logged on to CNN and there it was.  I also looked on facebook and everyone was in agreement. It was over and before midnight!!! I wanted to go wake up my roommates, well at least the ones who cared, to let them know, but I choose not to. They would know soon enough.  So then we waited for Romney to concede so that the president could speak. By the time the president re-elect spoke, Monica had called it a night because it was almost 2am. DeAnna and I knew we would be hurting the next day, but we had to see it.  I'm so glad I stayed up. I was hurting the next day for sure, but it was worth it.

My B'earthday
Wednesday thru Friday were a lot less physical, but a lot more emotional.  It was my b'earthday on Wednesday and Kripalu has a special b'earthday song that they sing for people on their day and it's a pretty cool song.  I got many a b'earthday greeting that day, folks sang happy birthday to me in the dining room out of the blue, which was sweet, and even got a gift. Oh, I actually got an early gift from my parents in the form of a massage, which I really needed.  I hadn't cried much over the four weeks during training. In fact I might have cried once and it was quick and done.  Well after Wednesday night the tears started to flow.  There was so much to be thankful for and the day of departure was getting closer. I was ready to go home, but I was starting to get really sad to leave these men and women who had become my family.  The tears just started coming and really didn't stop until Friday afternoon.

Thursday was our final posture clinic, but it was really time for us to ask questions have a conversation with our teachers Devarshi and Megha.  When that conversation ended we sang our morning prayers and chanted our near final Om together and that just broke everyone. We had to laugh because the whole room was crying. What happened to us? LOL!

That night was our graduation celebration. We honored our teachers and ourselves that night. People had been asking me to sing all month and that night I got a chance to finally share. I was not the only person with musical talent by far.  Alicia R. played piano, Peter played guitar, harmonica and piano, Andrew played guitar and sang, Dana played Uke, Michael played guitar and sang, a little comedy and percussion from Barry, and Jill  played percussion as well.   Bonnie and Jill also play the Uke and Michelle playsDulcimer!  There were many beautiful voices in the crew included Jess, Lyneel, Eva, and many more. Oh and how could I forget Alex who put together a slideshow of our month.   Our teachers cried tears of joy and seemed to have an overall good time.  We gave them massages and sang lots of Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.   It was a beautiful night.

Graduation
Friday was graduation.  Temple Sadhana in the morning was wonderful and the actual graduation was beautiful.  There continued to be tears and feelings of great joy. I kept thinking about all of you who supported me on this journey. I could not have done it without your spiritual and monetary support.  I am so blessed and I realize that even more now.

As we prepared to leave on Friday afternoon I said my farewells to the people who had been my family all month. Sixty-two people who I thought I would never really get to know, but by the end I knew them all.  It's still hard to believe.  I have a brand new community and new friends all over the world.  From Germany to Panama and Cali to Wisconsin and back to Massachusetts.  I have a brand new sangha and I am truly thankful.

Going Home
My classmate Odetta came back to my parents house with me.  We spent one more day together because she wasn't flying back to the UK until Sunday.  So she stayed with me and my family for one day. She actually ended up meeting my whole family in that day, grandparents too. Then on Saturday night I drove her to the airport and dropped off my soul sister. It was so crazy to say farewell to her. I thought all of my tears were done, but when we looked at each other the tears came back to my eyes and my heart felt like it was breaking.  She was my final physical connection to the last month.  As I pulled away, she blew kisses.  My mom laughed and I cried. I know my mother probably thought I was little crazy, but oh well.  That's just the way I felt. I'm glad I will be seeing Odetta again when I head to Europe this winter.  :-)

I'm now at my parents house in MA and I'll head back to Brooklyn on Monday. It's back to rehearsal and shows and life as I knew it, but it will be different for sure.  It's back to finding a place to hold my classes and reconnecting with people that I left behind for a month. I'm ready to go back to New York and for some reason I feel like going swimming.  It's strange, but I must make that happen.  For all the yoga I did last month I don't think I lost a bit of weight because the food was so good! But I am stronger. I'm physically and spiritually stronger.  I gained so much through this experience. I wish I really had time to break it all down here, but you will see it. It will show.

The title of the blog is E.S.R.I.T., which stands for Enter, Sustain, Release, Integrate, Transition. This acronym is talking about getting in and out of postures, but to me it's a metaphor for my life right now.  I Entered into yoga school, I Sustained and held on through the process, I was Released on the day that I graduated, it is now time to Integrate what I have learned into my life and Transition into a new journey.  A life where I am doing exactly what I want to do every day of the week and living from what I love.

I am saying Yes to life and a big Hell Yeah to yoga!  I'm excited about the possibilities that lye ahead. I can't wait to continue to share my yoga adventures with you.  I love you all so much!  You rock!

Jai Bhagwan!

Kripalu Yoga Teacher Training ~ Practice Teach 2/Man Down

Well it's been quite and week and it ain't over yet.  Before I get into what happened the night and day of Practice Teach 2 I'll explain the "Man Down" part of my title.

Two weeks into the program, which is the half way point, Joe one of my classmates, dropped out of the program. I was really shocked, but he was struggling with his health since he arrived here. In fact he went to the hospital due to dehydration in the early days of the program, but that being said I still didn't think he would drop out.  That really threw me. I know how much it takes for people to get here and it kind of broke my heart. I know if something happened and I had to leave it would be devastating considering all the work I had put in for two weeks and all the support that you all have given me along the way.  So we had to say so long to Joe. Actually I didn't even get to say goodbye.  One night he was there and the next night he was gone.  He was a good guy I wish him well.  So that actually makes two of our classmates that have left the program either on their own (Joe) or due to circumstances beyond their control (Scott).  The man count keeps going down in our class. So as of now, the last men standing are Barry, Troy, Peter, Andrew, Ben, Alex and Michael. Stay strong guys!

Moving on to brighter notes, I had an awesome Practice Teach 2!  Of course there is always room for improvement, but it was pretty amazing.  But before all that was the Hurricane Sandy watch.  We were also on alert here in the Berkshires, and it did hit us for sure.  It was nothing like NYC, NJ or CT, but she still came through.

Sandy hit the night before the practice teach. I was having a crappy day and everyone kept asking me if I was ok. They said I looked sad and thought I was worried about folks in NY. Honestly I thought my people would be OK and I was really PMSing and needed some space that day. LOL.  I love these folks, but after living together for almost a month I can't wait to get back into my own bed and not have to carry my toiletries to the bathroom. I know you feel me.

As I had mentioned before, I am a crammer. So on Monday night I took my spot in the Kripalu sanctuary and began to put together my practice teach. As I mentioned before, it's not that I don't have any idea what I'm going to do, but I let things swirl around in my head for a while before I put them on paper and Monday was no exception. I also sometimes like to go back to my room after everyone has gone to sleep so that night I stayed out until about 12:30am.  By the time I was on my way to bed Sandy was in full swing.  In the sanctuary you could hardly see the rain or hear the wind, but when I went upstairs to the forth floor on the other side of the building, the wind and rain were raging.  It felt like the windows could blow. Now that was scary!  So I quickly headed back downstairs to go to bed.

Now, we never lock the door in the room where I stay because there are 22 women in the room.  Did I mention that before?  With that in mind there are so many people coming and going at all times that there is no need to lock the door.  Well that night I got locked out.  Only briefly, but still I couldn't believe it. I know exactly what happened, but of course I was caught out there with no key.  So I had to knock on the door to have someone get up and let me in the night before the teach!  I really felt bad, but that, but folks understood.

Then I was getting ready to get in bed and had taken my pants off, when my roommate Alicia taps me on the shoulder and tells me there is water leaking on her from above the bed. Seriously??  OK.  So I ask her what she wants to do and she says she's going to the front desk to let them know and see if she can find another spot to stay in.  I waited for her to come back and she said they gave her another room to sleep in for the night.  Cool!  I'm about to get back in back, when there is knock at the door and three maintenance guys come marching in and I'm in my drawers!  They head strait to were the leak is, which gave me a minute to duck out of sight and put some pants on (damn!) and then I went and spoke to Alicia.  I asked her  if she wanted me to come sleep with her in the new spot and she was kind of hemming and hawing, which meant yes to me (and it did) so I went to sleep with her in the other room. We get to the new spot, set the alarm, turn on the ceiling fan because the new room is stuffy and hot and then head to sleep.

Now it's about 1:30am or so. Maybe later.  I finally get to sleep and then wake up again at about 3:30am. Strange bed and all. I look up at the ceiling fan and it's moving slower, but I thought that maybe Alicia got up to turn it down. So I went back to sleep.  Next I wake up at 5:45am. When I look up the fan has stopped and the clock is out, and I knew what was next.  No power.  So Alicia and I decided to get up and go back to the other room since we had to be up soon anyway.  When we opened the door to the room the emergency hallway lights were on.  Damn!  No electricity. We were told that the generators would come on, but that was clearly not happening at that point.  So Alicia and I walked back to the room and were trying to decide if we should wake people up because a lot of folks were using the room clock to wake up, which would clearly be out.  Turns out most of them knew that the power was out and people were looking for me and Alicia.  Everyone had slept through all that commotion from the night before.  Crazy.  Now we are all preparing for our practice teach in the dark or semi-dark. The building provided lanterns in the hallways and also some of the emergency lights were.  It was quite a scene.

Practice Teach 2
I went first in class to do my teach. I was actually glad about it because then I would have the whole rest of the day off. I would just be doing yoga for the rest of the day as a student in the class for the rest of my group.  By the time we were ready to start the generator power was on so we had lights.

I started my teach and everything was going really well. This time around I had to teach Virabhadrasana Eka (Warrior 1) and guide Virabhadrasana Dwi (Warrior 2), Kapalabhati breath (breath of fire) and Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) with the sanskrit names, plus two more postures.  I felt way more comfortable this time, which makes sense. I feel that my personality came through in this teach. I think the thing that really impressed me was that during my teach, the lights went out again, but I was so in the zone that I didn't even flinch. I remember it happening and I just kept it moving.  There was light coming in from the windows so it was no sweat.  I stayed so deep in the zone that the lights came back on and I didn't even notice.  It was a lot of fun. Nerve racking, but fun!

So Practice Teach 2 is done! We are already talking about 3.  I can't believe we are over half way done with this process.  What a journey and it ain't over yet.  I'm going to wrap this up, but don't forget there is still time to give. I'm just gonna keep going till they kick me out next week. LOL!  Thank you all so much!  What a blessing!

Well folks, it's 11:08 and well past my bed time. I just wanted to give you a little something to get you through.  Next week is the election. PLEASE VOTE!!! That's all I'm gonna say!  Thank you again so much and I'll be back with you shortly!  Thank you again!!!

Jai Bahgwan!

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Kripalu Yoga Teacher Training ~ Practice Teach One!

Today was a really big day.  Lots of stress going around the place, which is exactly the opposite of what Kripalu is about.  Kripalu is ALL about tranquility and good food and great views and all that jazz, but today was test day...so to speak.

After only a week and a day and after learning in lots of Sanskrit names of postures, press points, proper yoga language, etc., it was now time to put all of our knowledge to the test and actually teach for 30 minutes.  

How it works here is that we are split up into groups of three or four and we have to teach to our groups. Just to add on the pressure; our teachers and class assistants would randomly jump into our group while we are teaching to join in and evaluate!  OK. Breathe. LOL.  

Of course you have to remember that this is Kripalu after all. So in our first teach there is nothing, but positive feedback, but that didn't stop me from stressing a little bit. 

As I prepared last night for the teach today I was reminded of my college days and that fact that I am a crammer.  I mean it's really nothing new. I worked on my class outline last night for the practice teach today.  I had it all in my head or most of it, but I just couldn't get it down until last night.   That's how I write articles and even deliver songs.  I don't like a process to be too long and drawn out. Where some people will wait until a song is perfect to put it out, I'm like, let's put it out and see how it goes and then we can tweak.  You can't quite do exactly that here, but the one thing our teachers did say was that today would be messy and not perfect and if it was perfect then we would fail. LOL! That was a joke of course, but the point was for us to have fun and know that if it wasn't perfect that's OK and we would have a chance to do it again.  

I think for me one of the things that made me nervous was mirroring. Every time I got to yoga class I'm in awe of the teachers who can mirror the class.  In other words their left is right and right is left. The other thing that amazes me is when teachers can teach a whole posture while talking. That has always been incredible to me. Well today I did both!  I mirrored and I demoed and talked at the same time!  

Surely everything was not perfect today. I switched the order of my plan by accident, but I quickly learned that it was OK because the class/group didn't know what my plan was so they didn't know anything was out of order.  Yes!  I also did something today that I am really the most proud of. When I messed up or realized I was out of sequence, I didn't beat myself up about it. Yes I'm human folks. I do have negative self talk just like you, but today I told my negative talking self to take a hike!  I did a great job and yes I'm saying it myself.  :-)  

I was the last to go in my group today, which was kind of tough actually.  Yes I had the benefit of watching everyone else and taking some mental notes, but after the first person went I just wanted to go and get it over with.  Que Sera...  My time was my time and it was right on time.  

There were lots of tears and revelations today for my classmates, and I was not exempt in that department.  I came here saying that I wanted to teach, but having no idea if I actually could. I kept thinking of all my teachers along the way and drew from so many of them.  I got to give Reiki to my students in shavasana, which I have ALWAYS wanted to do and as I heard myself guiding the class into tadasasna, I could hear the voices of the many teachers along the way who told me in class to tuck my tailbone and lift up through the crown of my head to elongate my spine.  Now I am sharing that and it's amazing!   

Today I learned that I am a teacher.  I can do this damn thing and that is exactly what I said to my class today after our teach. I was sweating after it was all over. I could feel it dripping down my back.  The nerves were that for sure, but I'm ready.  Today's class was 30 minutes and the next will be 45 minutes. Now it seems like no sweat. Bring on the hour class!  

There is still so much to learn. I know we will be getting lots of feedback from out teachers in the days to come, but one big hurdle has been jumped.  I am shocked daily by the amount of information that we are asked to retain and the fact that it's actually, really and truly in there.  In our brains that is.   

One of my classmates is a pianist, another plays piano, guitar and harmonica and then there is me. So tonight we shared our victory together with some of our other classmates around the piano in the main hall. We listened, made up songs and I even sang a couple of my own.  It was the perfect ending to an amazing day. Every day should begin with yoga and end with music or a combination of the two.  

As I watch the leaves fall right before my eyes and that landscape that was all reds, yellows and browns, turn to gray as some remain evergreen, I am so thankful.  Thank you all again so much for your love and support.  So many goals have been reached and there are even more to come.  We have almost reached the fundraising goad. We are so close. Thank you, Thank you, Thank You! 

Goodnight and Jai Bahgwan!

BTW-Sorry I haven't had more pictures for you. My camera on my phone has been acting special out here since that first day. Gonna try and work it out for you soon.  :-)

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